Graduation blues

It has happened. I finished my degree! I never wanted to go to University yet here I am already been, gone and got the T-shirt. Now I’m back home sitting in my room and I feel empty.

It doesn’t feel right. I’ve waited so long for this day to arrive yet now it’s here, I can’t stand it.

The most painful thing about leaving has been leaving my partner in crime for the last 4 years. After spending pretty much 24/7 with my best friend doing life together we are now separated by not only the summer vacation but also adult life. And it sucks. Saying ‘Goodbye’ is never easy. Since my best friends Dad died last year, saying goodbye now feels like the most painful thing to have to do.

Whilst I stand in my room home trying to reorganise my overly full living space, with all the boxes and bags I brought back from my life away from home I realised I need to remind myself of the one who is unchanging, the one who remains still no matter how overwhelmed or busy I get.

My last Sunday at my University church we sung a very precious song to my heart – ‘Jesus Be the Centre‘. Me and my mum used to sing this in the car on family vacations, it always used to make me feel safe and happy. Singing this song as an adult not only brought the warm feeling of familiarly but also a strong reminder of the words I should be singing to God in this crazy time of transition. The chorus in this song goes:

“Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in these sails
Be the reason that I live
Jesus, Jesus”

These small words have such a powerful meaning, portrayed in SUCH a beautiful image. A major reassurance of Gods power in this situation of coming out of full time education going onto the next chapter of life, whatever that may be.

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